Confusion

It's been a long time since my last post. Anyways, i missed everything back then. Where all expectations are almost correct. Those times when i didn't have to worry much of what's going to happen. On contrary, these days had been stressful. Very, to be precise.

So recently we ran into each other quite frequently.  Oh God i did not know how to express the nervousness and happiness inside me when you smiled back every time i smiled at you and how you became exited when i send you cat posts on dm . :') I knew she likes cat so much bc most of her stories are about her cats , she definitely misses her cat so much as soon as she started college.  Haih but the problem is she's a DEGREE student and i'm still in my foundation year. She's a year older than me duuuuuuuhhh She's also a whole complete idol of mine lol. She can dance, she can sing, and she's taking degree in veterinary! which is my main goal in life, :") I hope i can be in the same faculty with her next year huhuhuhuh

Sometimes you may feel mad at yourselves. Like i did today. The feeling was helpless. Sometimes i wonder when will my clumsiness ever go away? When will i change to me more mature. THEN. I think of the future where i need to stand with my own feet. When my parents no longer in my reach , will i be okay? AND. When that thought came into my mind, and my overthinking flows like a river, I imagined a lot of possible occurrence, And start counting the numbers. BUT. When reality hits for the time again, And the madness still don't go away, Repeating the first verse over again. I knew I'm not going anywhere.

Someday When we are wiser When the world's older When we have learned I pray Someday we may yet live To live and let live Someday Life will be fairer Need will be rarer Greed will not pay God speed This bright millenium On its way Let it come Someday Someday Our fight will be won then We'll stand in the sun then That bright afternoon Till then On days when the sun is gone We'll hang on Wish upon the moon There are some days dark and bitter Seems we haven't got a prayer But a prayer for someday better Is the one thing we all share Someday When we are wiser When the world's older When we have learned I pray Someday we may yet live To live and let live Someday Life will be fairer Need will be rarer Greed wil not pay God speed This bright millenium Let it come Wish upon the moon One day Someday Soon. -All 4 One-

 Hi. This is my second time writing this because i accidentally deleted the original draft that i had saved. ...  So, we talked several times today during Physics class but really not a real chat though. They were so short and hurried. Sometimes i got mad at myself because most of the time, i am the one who kept on ignoring you who's trying to communicate with me anyway. I didn't know why. I didn't intend to do that either. It's probably just me, that doesn't want to change my life pattern or maybe i just want things as they are right now. Maybe i like you but maybe i don't. Maybe i wished for you to like me too, but maybe i wish you don't. I guess life is just full of maybes. I wish I know how to be real. Goodnight .